This isn't about going with the flow...as such, I guess indirectly it is, but I'm talking about my flow. My aunt Flo, my period, my rag...I don't really like "Aunt Flo" as a euphemism for my menstrual cycle, my aunts are all delightful and when they visit they bring Finnish doughnuts. This Aunt Flo (while I've accepted it as an intricate cycle of life) is like a flaky, emotional eating bitch. This bitch came as I was on the treadmill, luckily she gave me war-vision for the task at hand. After the gym - as session that was cut short due to cramping and lightness of head - I had already intended to stop at the grocery store to get bananas and peaches. This grocery store didn't have peaches, they had nectarines. This pissed us - flo and I - off; in retaliation we bought M&M cookies, crackers, chips, a jumbo chocolate bar and some buffalo mozzarella. Flo is like that free-loading friend who you know is coming and you're determined to stand your ground and say:
"hey, we've cut down on refined sugar and trans fats, and champagne during the week, let's just stick to the bananas and the apples (that you replaced the peaches with)!" It's like she didn't even hear me.
It was more like: "oh hey gurl, can you get some snacks? I don't have any money to spot you, but like I'll get you back later - I'm good for it. Oooooh get something sweet, and salty, but make sure it' creamy and crispy too."
Never does Ms. Flo provide you reason or good judgement, she's all fire and water. Which I'm not bashing, but like...really? I just consumed a whole bag of chips, and I just ate 2 large M&M cookies, with full intention of eating crackers and cheese, paired with a sparkling Rosé with full intentions of watching a show I know I'll weep my way through until I fall asleep.
Thank God my gorgeous man is working tonight, because this shit isn't pretty, its horrifying and resembles some kind of mania. I'm like a bleeding Tasmanian devil of ravenous hunger, tears, and ultimate regret for eating all this crap. I have no self control, I am a hedonist at heart. And Ms Flo is the fairy godmother of gluttony and sloth. ---->
But in terms of going with the flow, like actually just embracing what this moody diva teaches, is that it's extremely needed for me to do this - i.e. nothing - and retreat from the world (you know in a logical daily needs kind of way). Without getting into any details, personal and otherwise, I'm doing that. I'm increasingly annoyed at everything so, sugar is taking some time to flip off the world and chill out in my coocoon and have frequent romantic dinners with boyfriend, and to go to the gym to get those skinny rich girl arms and a thigh gap, and I guess meditate and talk to dolphins and whales, or whatever.